unrequited?

 “Memories are not recycled like atoms and particles in quantum physics; they can be lost forever…” Marry The Night, Lady Gaga

I would like to excuse my married ass and write this shit, cause I need to— I have to. this is to remind me that I have been loved for so very long,  faithfully by another man that i didnt have a clue of… a love story that happened to me and I might not remember this in the future… so here goes…

 The story started when we were in high-school… a couple of months before our graduation, to be exact… t we became a couple. he was  a very nice man- tall, fair-skinned, neat, very nice hands, nice set of teeth, big mouth with red lips, has this nicest smile on him that I really loved, long-limbed kinda guy.. practically way out of my league. but I don’tknow what gotten into him, that - he likes me. 

 so anyway. we gave each other a gift. One day, he asked me where I lived. I was not sure why he asked, telling directions to our house is a pain in the ass, but he appeared on the our door step anyway. Mom was the one who answered the door. since I AM NOT IN THE HOUSE THAT TIME!!!! dhang! he just gave my mom the gift and went off. How surprise I was when i received it… I was even surprise how he was able to find our house! ahaha. It was a tudong. It smelled so nice, I cried. so I went to town to buy him a gift back. I was thinking a polo shirt. since I am conscious on what to give him and he might not use it, i finally decided to give him the hankies. just to be safe.

Noone knew about our relationship, since, my friend adores him so much. and that I was supposed to bridge her to him. hahah. Oh it was awful, since she has boyfriends anyway… so I gave up being a good friend.   lol.. dont judge me.

This relationship we had, what i thought, was shortlived. 

not until last week, he added me on FB. and he messaged me.

told me he was so happy he’s crying, that he finally found me on FB. and I asked who he was cause he’s not using his name, and his timeline doesnt show anything about him or of a person, just a collections of Islam quotes, youtube videos about Islam and pictures about Islam.. All about Islam… this guy is really nice! i know! I even had a wrong guessed as of who he was, but … he said its me! and I thought he died, excuse me. so i was just laughing the whole time chatting with him. I was so happy too.

I, actually, miss him. he showed me his current pic, still looks the same. lean and neat. lol

This guy is crazy, he confessed to me, things that I can never even imagine that a person could do to me. he said was the craziest, what I noticed first is that- his FB has been created and was active for a very long time = means that what he said about not owning another FB is true. It doesnt say anything about a person, he said, its just about spreading Islam and what he like he’ll post it on his FB. I personally agree to this cause I know he is that kind of person that keeps it to himself. shy and reserve when other people is around.  I know right?! he’s so sweet. but what’s crazier was the thing he said that time while we were chatting, was that he’s still SINGLE. SINgle?! what the hell! he blames me for not waiting, and then put a LOL at the end of it.. to make it more confusing.

and that he went back to our house to say goodbye to me before going abroad for his new work but i wasnt thereanymore, he said he went there around 7 years ago… BUTi got married 8 years ago! little too late? yeah for a year! ahahah. he didnt know, he didnt ask, he didnt proceed to our house and knock– cause he got intimidated maybe, cause he saw my father first came out from the house. of course, i mean, who doesnt get intimidate by my father, he is large and he got this infamous antagonistic moustache on his face.. hahah. who wouldnt? poor him. shyed away by my father’s bad-ass appearance. he said, he cried on the airplane, wishing that he was able to see me before he left the coutry.. so how long is my hair now?! youre stepping on it now.

this is so sad.. i know.. and there is a moral of this story. and that is communication baby!

and the conlcusion? he helped me opened my eyes. he taught me things that i already knew, things that i dont want to hear, every answers and his questions hit me hard. He is so kind, and very patient with me and very wise to go around with our chat. I guess he somehow knew what I needed to hear and he gave it to me in a very unoffensive way. I guess you will never understand this part of my story, but what he basically, did was giving me a piece of jannah. of God’s wisdom. its not only by his words but by what he does in his life and the way he sees things. I am so blessed that God gave him to me. I wish I can affect people like the way that he did to me.  everything happens for a reason. he always, always … remind me of how beautiful and pure Islam is and how beautiful it is. I am so grateful that God, do really take time for me, and gave me chances,,, time and time again. He gave me a friend like him. that motivates me and inspired me to be a better person. God never fails me. God is great!

that kodak moment goes priceless- everytime

sometimes— it is hard for me to keep me from laughing at an awkward situation, i just dont know why i laugh in the first place, but everytime i did… every body would raise an eyebrow on me.

So sorry man!  What did I do?

I laugh— especially those moments that i shouldnt be, (just realized it after my Laugh-fading reaction) like when someone explains to me in serious tone- i laugh, complains- i laugh, crying- i laugh, mad- yeah- i laugh, sarcarsm- laugh even though - its on me, or what not. I don’t exactly catch whats running on my mind- i just find it funny.

its like that awkward feeling when you start clapping cause you think its D right moment— nobodys following. your clapping starts to fade when everybody starts to follow the clapping sound and see whos doing it and the joke is on me.

 shit… why is everybody like so serious, man?

or maybe… just maybe - im sick in the head… like short circuitry just happening in my brain. i dont know.  ahahaha.

Remembering Junko Furuta and Yue Yue

Just read her horrifying story off the newsfeed and I felt like blogging it. Another reminder to the living that evil exist and lives among us. I mean, its 2011 people! Don’t you have x-box or anything more fun to do guys? and just torture this poor-girl, a human being, a person like you!? What is with you people! whoooo! #!@&*^&@!!!!!  I am so mad right now! waaah!

 Life is so unfair, bad people still lives. and the innocents still ignored? ooowh! I just remember something!~ I recently watched a gruesome recorded cctv on youtube of a kid runned over by two vans… ignored by the fcuking drivers and fcuking pedestrians like a roadkill.

I mean PEOPLE! this is a child! a HUMAN CHILD! i mean -you were like her! would you like if  your child is also ignored?! FCUK you all! whooooa@! her name is yue yue… shes 2 years old!

…and the first driver said

“when I saw her she was already bleedin, so I decided to step on the gas pedal and escape seeing that nobody’s around”.

and my reply to this shit is… FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU!

What shocked me was that the people ignored her. a child runover still on the middle of the street and bleeding. aliiiiive! still alive people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whoooa. i dont usually use to much exclamation points but i felt this is appropriate for this moment.

there was, however, a lady put her aside and looked for her parents… shit! after how many people passed her by, just stared at her a little, then went on… maybe a little story you can share to your buddies after work? eh?about a huma-girl-roadkill? that you just passed by?

fuck you bastards!

I am also blaming the parents for having their child out of their sight.

BUT HELL! Those people are some samaritan! I mean? what were they thinking?  i feel so mad right now, i am barely typing. whoooo.

here’s the video! cheers!

 so i’ll just post the video instead of the article.

TIPS FOR BEING HAPPY (with pix)

Forget the slander You heard.

 

Forget the ones who made You cry.

Forget the pain You suffered inside.

 

Allah is great! Allah is great!

We were in doubts that the moon will gonna show tonight…  to mark the end of my favorite month. I was not that excited anyway… I was kind of used to do the things that I need to do everyday on this very special month. Cook, eat, pray, and learn.

I have been remembering things… a lot of things again this month. When you’re hungry, you remember the feeling of being betrayed, the rejection of the family, the hatred of the envious, the depression and dissapointments, things that made a big hole in my soul by the very people you cared for and the very people you loved. And its hard to forgive when they didn’t realize what they did. I don’t want them to ask me to forgive them. I just wanna know if they learned something from hurting me and my family. I wanna know if they even empathize on what we have been through. Its even harder to hope that the KARMA to NOT hunt them down.

 Well, its hard to forgive them right away. I have time. I am trying to learn how simple life is… its not that complicated. We are here temporarily anyway. I might as well cancel my plan on eye-for-a-claw (eye for an eye) to this people. theyre not worth it anyway. I am not anymore… I pity them. Hope them all in good health. (no, seriously)

What is exciting about tomorrow is to pray on the Golden Mosque of Cotabato City, which is the largest mosque in the country.

Masjid Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah dang Brunei or The Golden Mosque in Cotabato City

The Sultan of Brunei, funded the construction at a cost of $48 million! It is located in the seaside village of Inawan, occupies 1.7 hectares of a 5-ha. Hopefully tomorrow will be its “grand opening” and that the construction is done. I just hope that my two digicam wont fail me so I have evidence to show and tell my grandchildren about it. lol

After this… Me and Manny will be going to Davao City fo a 2-3 day vacation, inshaAllah!Another thing to get excited about. But surely, I am going to miss Ramadhan.

Forbidden Fruit

Ive explained to someone yesterday, and to other people in the past… lol - to my friends… why some muslims OVER REACT when they see pork meat or pig on wherever.

My answer? well, in ma mind i think it is because ALLAH says so… there are several reasons why by the way,  but to make it brief and easier for them- I will say:

THAT it’s for our health. BUT we CAN still eat it - if its the only thing thats left— for us to SURVIVE (i am emphasizing the word). which is impossible by the way cause God is a good provider.

THAT it is something that theyre (emphasizing they cause - I was kinda used to seeing pork meat- after all the acting of ‘not-minding’) that theyre not USED TO seeing. some of them are from Mindanao where even Christian Restos respect Muslims, they understand the need and the importance of halal way to us… they would serve/grill/cook it separately.

this is considered taboo to us, eating pork or any pork products.

Taboo by the way is something thats extremely not normal to the community.

I would like to give some examples (and when I say these to them - I am not surprise of how they reacted)

for example - if youre a dog lover… would you eat dog meat? if youre a cat lover - would you eat cat meat?

Or deep fried rat meat? how about toasted cockroach?

ew right?

and if youre most people - would you eat aborted babies? google it, ive seen THAT picture- a picture of a man eating fried aborted baby serve on a plate. posted by an FB friend would unthoughtfully post it on the newsfeed.

Now you know… How would YOU react? would you just act like its nothing? deep-fried-aborted-babies? — being served to you? same cooking wares to cook your food? c’mon?! dont be a hypocrite! faint! be disgusted!

no way! right? NOW YOU KNOW

           ” Forbidden to you for (food) are: dead meat,
            blood and the flesh of the swine and that
            which hath been invoked the name other than
            Allah. “
                                                                    Holy Qur’an 5:4

                             Such prohibition is also found in the Bible:

          
                              ” The pig also because it is a splitter of the
                                hoof but there is no cud. It is unclean for
                                you. None of their flesh must you eat and carcass
                                you must not touch. “
                                                                      Deuteronomy 14:8 ( Bible)

*WORD OF THE DAY - EMPHASIZE  *lol

Ay Carumba!

word verification has gone too far

i am working for a real estate company, which is ma very first homebased job ever in oDESK. (clap clap clap)

and everytime i reached the limit on sending emails or adding ads on craiglists… this freaking box shows up

then when I entered what I think is correct - ITS WRONG! red letters all over the page. and I started freaking out. waaah???! dont you guys hate it when it happens? 

and I thought my IQ is above average! lol dont judge me

I got so frustrated and my scalp started to get itchy, I have to try again since I dont have a choice-  

I pressd enter again, to a carefully, entirely new set of characters in the text box - its WRONG again! It says I have to try another word. I ask myself facing the ceiling “WHY?!!!!”,

then I see this little wheelchair button beside the box - i have to try the “are you a handicapped?”-button - ooops! its NOT WORKING too! maybe i am not handicapped enough? well,  ha ha! you wait when i tell the ant-anti handicapped people about this!

this is not funny - but i was laughing. =>got crazy

and when I FINALLY got it… felt a chemical relief  crawling in me. felt like jumping already -but

it asks me to put the TXT CODE verification that they will txt me after I put in my mobile number…

great! then what next? fax you my flesh to check if i am a real person?!

just sayin.

15 Facts You Should Know About Me:

Certified Facebook Stalker

Fact 2:
Music Lover

Fact 3:
roasted beef is my tongue’s, ultimate, favorite.

Fact 4:
I have an imaginary world.

Fact 5:
Fast sleeper

Fact 6:
Swimmer

thanks to google… he save a lot of my worries and false excitements.

Fact 8:
I am ticklish… everywhere

Fact 9:
Some people think I am snobbish.

I am not!

I just can’t see people’s faces when I am walking (well, most of the time)

Fact 10:
I am not a measuring-kinda-cook

Fact 11:
I, usually, get along with weird… psychotic people

Fact 12:
I am ok with hypocrites but not with opportunistic ones

 Fact 13:
I am very kind and patient.

Fact 14:
I don’t like level-up games 

but i have accounts on almost every levelling up games on the internet.

Fact 15:
You ain’t seen nothing yet.

…

i need pain

just woke up… and its- what? 10am. you think its great?! yeah its wonderful!

I hated waking up on alarms. have you tried changing alarm tones too? in the hopes that whenever you wake up it is easy, soothing or or — a word please? that is opposite to annoying.

It was like this for yearsss… well, mostly- weekdays.

Now that we are here in Cotabto City again, with Manny’s manageable business. I am so relaxed, I got so dependent to everyone… spoiled. and… I dont feel any pressure.

im not used to it. I need pressure! well, maybe next month - MONTH OF RAMAHDAN - i will be… 

but today…

with my hands grasping my long starbucks tumbler (courtesy of a dear friend of mine back in Manila),

absorbing its warm against the passing cold breeze from the morning

just sitting there - on the top open garden on top of the apartment building that Manny’s family owns. 

realizing i am lucky, again.

We have a nice view of the mountain. that some people would kill for. so nice. sweet. and … weak.

yes weak! yeah… not like the person who runs against heavy rain and wet streets almost every day. who stands on bus from point home to point work. who eats for 10 minutes and pee for 3. who talks ~8 hours a day and sleeps for 8 hours at most. 

I am getting weaker…

ahahha. 

my day like today

 usually, i would start my day waking up sooo early in the morning…like around 4:30 a.m. to pray the fajr. I am lucky to live in these part of the City where you can hear a beautiful call-for-prayer, which is also my alarm, that was sang by an old person or maybe ustadz (no doubt).

then I would be doing my chores (it could be doing the laundy or cleaning the internet shop), then if i still have energy left on my life bar, i clean our bedroom. sometimes I cook for breakfast. 

After taking a bath i make sure i have a dash of quality time with hubby…. and then prepping for work… I sometimes asked if I could go somewhere else… Like today I went to see a dentist for cleaning… I was also thinking about getting braces so I asked. I was excited to have one. but i have some priorites to settle first. too bad

When I went back to the shop - my hubby is playing Dota with his new found team mates… The shop was full so he was playing at the server station. So I went up the apartment to fixed some lunch then we ate it after the game. 

Since he’s busy with the customers, I usually end up surfing the net using the server… alone… lost in cyberspace. ahahah. it gets pretty wild online. and i get distracted all the time… buying those post-its not helping me much. its just too much to  handle for a girl like meee. I admit. I stalk on FB, i mean who doest? FB is made for stalkers… agree? and now I remember what I am supposed to do>have to print something… like right now.. omeggee… (pause)(game) finish with printing photos…after 15 minutes.. i tend to spend extra time in editing. oooh. what was the topic again? ugh! …. oh yeah - FB. well, i got jealous in places they went to… on food they taken a piture of… and the clothes. i was also thinking buying stuff online. like the pink pills or the shoes… that doesnt fit me anyway. or those colored contact lenses…. hahaha- but i am not ready for that yet. too risky. i have other priorities… i think i am having a dejavu.

well anyway - I also play online games. I have this psychological disorder you may call it - cause i wanted to be the first on everything.. and if someone beats me and stay on top unbeatable- i give up. in my mind- i sourgrape > like: “maybe you don’t have friends”, or “he doesnt have a work so he have lots of time on leveling up. hahaha. i am sooo bitter.

 and i google map people’s houses… HAHAHAH. my team mates think its weird. but actually it was fun.> but yeah> i shouldnt reveal all the things i do in the internet. one thing leads to another and you dont know where you were and where youre going. then bam! its closing time. side effects on too much internet will show after 15 minutes.  ugh! 

my hate post

I hate washing dishes

I hate hanging clothes to dry

I hate eating… by myself (except: when I am infront of a tv)

I hate losing someone I love

I HATE when friends CANCEL PLANS!

I HATE PEOPLE WITH NO RESPECT to me or to anyone!

I hate people who comment jump me

I hate hiding something and then forgetting where I hid it.

I hate friends posting ogrish pictures on the newsfeed.

I hate it when people brag about something that it wasnt theirs in the first place.

I hate waking up from an awesome dream and forgetting what happened.

I hate It when I forgot to save the super long document that I have just typed or well thought of- when BAM! then the lights went out!

I HATE IT WHEN I AM BEING COMPARED TO ANOTHER DUMBASS

I hate getting SO angry in an argument that I cry!

I hate it when theyre having a conversation on their dialects, that I dont understand… and they dont explain or translate it to me. as if i was not there!

I hate it when people started talking to me when they dont call my name first to get my attention

I hate it when people enter your room without KNOCKING.

I hate flying cockroaches.

I hate OPPORTUNISTIC friends more- than plastic friends

I Hate It when you need to wee all the time. hello! life is too short

I hate it when I am just browsing books in the library then boom! I need to fart

I hate it when I am just shopping for groceries then boom! I need to fart

I hate it when I am checking CDs in a store then boom! I need to fart

I hate it when someone farted and says “do I SMELL XXXXX” (cause you got a good smell of it if you got curious)

I hate it when i walk in a shop, and the salesperson follows u, its offensive.

I hate people who are only nice to you when they need something! ew

I hate it when I can’t think of what to do to make my love ones feel better

I HATE HOW EARPHONES GET TANGLED UP!!

I hate it when people can’t take a hint- worst: pretend not to know

I hate it when I’m about to say something then I forget..

I hate being close to people that live so far away….

I Hate GOODBYES

I HATE BLACKOUTS!

I hate screamers and naggers.

I hate it when summer is just too darn hot!

I hate it when I can’t fall asleep because I’m thinking.

love this video from youtube…

I found the link of this neat video from somewhere> (http://www.lyrics007.com) and she has the heartless title on it that was originally sang by kanye. which is one of the song that I Looove! so when I clicked it then viewed it> it was even better than the original or the one that the frays covered. (in ma opinion…) 

i like her grenade of bruno mars cover too. looove it!

i love her voice… and the expression of her face when she sings. i love her!

found her website… just this moment> please visit : ALLABOUTMAGGIE.COM 

ciao! i am checking the site right now…so TTFN! mwah!

he’s a rikimaru to the bones!

Rikimaru is a DoTa character that fights dirty. he is a Stealth Assassin that becomes invisibile when not attacking or using an ability.

His preferred attack is obviously to Backstab someone, inflicting greater damage as he grows more agile.

Once he decides to reveal himself, Rikimaru can fart a Smoke Screen in a moderate area, which gradually expands, silencing anyone inside, slowing them down, and causing them to miss.

I want to associate Rikimaru to this person I know… who likes to backstab people. He was our friend then, but he tell stories about people, some of them are true though, but he talks people to belittle them, for a good show. I mean, he shouldn’t be like that to a family, especially. that is wrong man! and you’re old… you should know better!

He shows his teeth when he speaks damaging words to a person. His eyeballs are on the corner like he’s checking something. I mean MAN! you look stupid, dont you know that?! He would start something like : “you know what happened to her in this place?” then waits for your reaction if you did know or not.

even though we know what that was - I would say - Oh please, do tell… and then - he continues with his extra spicy details of what happened to her and then I will just find an energy inside me to act surprise and not sounding sarcastic.

He’s not satisfied with just, that, he tells everybody to get a laugh or recognition. what he gets from us is nothing but to be careful around him. He always wanted all the attention to him. He’s a great speaker, I admit that, but I am not impressed by what hes actually saying.

Now he’s jealous of us… He speaks nothing but us when were not around. When we saw him with someone, he fell silent almost ignoring us… I mean~ what the heck man! we know youre bad talking - about us.. cause  youre jealous. right? just put your nose on your business, so that youre cubs will stop whoring around.

What makes him weak is the gem. I don’t have it though… but remember God is all-knowing and all-seeing. thats a gem right there!

We’re ok if people talking behind our backs… good or bad. I just hate you. DIE you freaking old monster! DIEEE! lol

just joking.

 

Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.

 ~ Spanish Proverb

 

A gossip is one who talks to you about others; a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.

~ Lisa Kirk

 

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

~ William Rogers

 

If you must speak ill of another, do not speak it, write it in the sand near the water’s edge.

~Napoleon Hill

 

Some praise me, some blame me. I go the other way.

~Mirabai

 

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don’t.

~Earl Wilson

 

tis is ma fave: 

The world is a nest of crows; some caw in praise; some caw in derision. But men should be above the reach of praise and blame.

~Satya Sai Baba

 

In my experience those who do not like you - fall into two catagories: the stupid and the envious. The stupid will love you in five years, the envious, never….

~ Rodchester

 

The War Principles of Sun Tzu

COTABATO CITY: a temporary permanent

 this is just a short whatever about whats been going on while were in cotabato city— without the  internet connection! so i am just saving this short-mini-journal in my computer’s notepad. and I am now posting it today so read on.

day 1

I was excited to be in Cotabato City again, however, I realized that itll be my permanent home from the rest of my life… i guess. a new life again. a reset. i have to make a new set of goals again. a change.

I am always OK with changes. this is inevitable and this is the only thing that is permanent (i read it somewhere i dont remember where).

The night before the flight, i was sad and tired and missing my things already, my friends, the bus rides, our loud neighbors, traffic. i miss it. I never let my hubby know this, i dont want him to be negative about the change, he’s already confused, and already asking my opinion. I let him decide, cause i dont want to be blame or dont wanna have any regrets when things go bad… and mainly because I was thinking that this change is not only for me- this is also for him and his family.

when we finally landed, there were no crazy-emotions, no sadness… excitement… or anything. I thought on  this already and expected ofwhat should be expected, and if things are not on the plan, then thats the time i’ll be surprised with. I am opening my eyes to changes… this is now a reality. a reality of my life. no more pipe dreaming and hopefulness. just me, my heavy luggage and manny.

it was eerie to come up on the dark steep stairs in the old house, every steps reminds me on the events thay happened. when i reached the second floor, I noticed that the high narra chairs are still unmoved and still uncomfy.

day 2

I was getting the hang of it. I cleaned our newly built room. arranged the pile of garbage we brought with us that are still in the boxes and luggages.

finally,  everyday is seafood day. unlike before, when we’re still in manila, we would think twice in buying fish or whatever. thinking where to dump its waste- when the garbage day is MWF, and if its not within those days, for an hour- the garbage smells like fish guts… which it is.

 
and cooking them is another thing that we have to consider, since we only have a ricecooker to cook the rice and the viand. i have to cook rice first - transfer it to a bowl and then the viand.

day 3

I can really feel the power of the summer heat during the day, since our room is on top of the apartment building. during nights, I can appreciate the storm clouds displaying their lightnings to each other. It was romantic even. I never noticed lightning this powerful back in Manila, probably because the buildings are covering the view.

day 4
 
Finished reading the book that i bought a couple of weeks ago, the cover doesnt seem to attract me, but i finally decided to read it lastnight. well- hah hah! i shouldnt be reading it- and even finished it. I was like to really tear the pages off its hard-fcuking-cover. It was like a sex without orgasm. no climax. sometimes- the book cover will really show how dull the story would be. shit. I got so tired reading endless details, emotion, full of angst. shit. I got depressed.

it is 2:46 pm… manny is so indulged with his project. We decided to name the internet cafe that were going to open: ROCKMANN Internet and Gaming Cafe.

day 5

I am so surprised that i still remember how to pray. i am doing it five times a day. no sweat. but there is sweat literally, with the summer heat and everything. I sweat like a pig. oops! haram. but im not eating it anyway - so there pig!

day 6

 I miss the internet. I somehow am glad to know that i am not addicted to it, since i dont show any of those withdrawal symptoms. I remembered when i was 18, around that age maybe - my dad taught how to create an account and create an email. i even remember the email account- it was moahmina@rocketmail.com > i forgot the access the email anymore, i tried, but i guess rocketmail doesnt exist anymore.. that was - what? 11 years ago? lol. and after that i come to know the mIRC. where i met jainal sabdani. his nick name was shylock. and mine is ma_cleopatra. LOL

day 7

with this humidity and heat radiating from the roof and the walls- i was like floating. thinking that i might have a heart attack or the heat stroke, if the heat will stay. I wouldnt dare open the door, dust are swirling about when people pass by our room. But i love the heat, than stormy weather. i dont like the mud. or crossing wet streets. it stresses me out.  

day 8

It rained long last night - i can still see the pool of water forming outside the open area, just outside our room on top of our room. I felt that the summer is leaving. here comes the rain.  

day 14

A lot of things just happened. major ones were:

1. Were finally finshed painting the walls… yellow and blue for the tables. the cyber cafe is in the apartment bulding where manny’s family owns. 

2. Already talked to PLDT cotabato of our intent.

3. listed some of the addresses we need where  we could buy cheap computers.

day 17 

We bought the computers in DAVAO. just 10 of them. but its ok.

day…errr…  MAY 2 till 4

we finally opened our doors and it was a blast. made a website ROCKMANN’s INTERNET & GAMING WEBSITE and we made a mark in the google map.

learning my way through photoshop

 my very first digital scrapbooking.

isnt it great?! 

this background is just fake

(please click on the picture if youre not seeing it full)

voila!

URBAN LEGEND: Maria Labo

the story that  Ive heard about her never changed… So I somehow believe that her story was real.

I just wanna write about her existence, to serve as a reminder how gullible i was, to such dark-unknown creatures of the night. chos! and how amazed my brother and i- to know that theres really evil exists.

we were talking horror once again with my cousins and friends the other night to scare ourselves from boredom…and since I wanted to blog as much as I could - I prmised to do it today. and so here it is…

and also- because… I got so scared last night, after thinking too much of  the are-you-afraid-of-the-dark stories, that I imagined that theres an aswang staring at me from the dark spot in the kitchen,

YIPES! that i ran like a scared rat going to its tiny-little hole.

Manny was laughing, almost irritated. but better safe than sorry- right guys? she might catch me with her filthy long fingernails. full of dried blood and entrails. ew.

anyway…

 Whenver we hear news of aswang visiting our city or group of tall cloaked guys stealing children’s soul- we close our doors tight and windows… and if there’s hole in the wall or wherever- wed asked our parents to put something over it- before the sunset comes… the neighborhood sari sari stores will close and each house is filled with fear and silence.

I don’t even -dare -move for my dear life and just listen to whatver moving outside, and if anything is different, i got a scoop to tell my classmates about it. 

I believe. that our neighbors goats and chickens were kept inside the house with them!

And everytime we survived the fright night, we would talk for hours at school that morning and tell them of how early we closed our doors and windows and such and such…

Maria Labo… however, was different, it was on for months and months, and it even made the headlines. I dont know who make this news viral, but i guess its our culture’s fault taht we tend to believe more what is unknown and different than what is boring and true. 

so heres her story *of what I heard:

She was an OFW working in Singapore, an old lady was her client… she was a caregiver/helper around the house. the old lady has a power and she have to pass it on to someone else so she could die. Since her family is not accepting her ‘ability‘ - Maria took it so she could go home early since she misses her family. she become a person who has the ability to change skin, to an animal, or can self heal. They have this stone that was bound with a group of powerful jinns. She has to kill to gain more abilities (like flying, healing, giving sickness, speed, or hearing). she uses chorion to rub her skin for healing, and some oils and skins to change into a boar, a dog, or a cat. etc

After her clients death, shes finally made it back home to her province. her husband saw unusual changes in her, thinking that she may be just got the ‘burn-out’ from working abroad, he just set it aside and tried to help her as he can.

but it got worst and worst everyday… she ignores her 2 year old child and would scare him and her child at night, saying that theres unseen people, asking her to do something…

when he went back home- he was amazed and even felt relieved that the house is clean and in place… then she was looking all right, and was talking to him nicely.  when he asked where their child were, she ignored him. he got worried, so he asked and asked until she pointed him to the fridge. he didnt understand what shes implying, but she keeps on pointing him to the fridge, and now shes kneeling, as if begging him not to be angry. so he hurriedly opened the fridge- and got he felt he was in a twilight zone seeing parts of the child body and head, wrapped messily with a newspaper in a large bowl. it smells cows blood and entrails. that he cant understand what that was still. he was about to touch it. but maria was crying loudly now.

he felt the shock of horror as the information of sinks into his brain.

he was terrified and so angry of what happend to his child that he ran out and got the bolo begging his wife to go out of the house. she was there still crying her hands trying to fend him from his bolo. without warning, he slashed his wifes face, that made her ran out of the house and never have to see her again.

it was believed that she went hiding in places all over mindanao. she was seen changed into a boar in cotabato city and a beautiful lady with a scar across her face in davao and zamboanga city. It was crazy crazy.

WE ALL HAVE STORIES TO TELL

I collected some quotes and pictures off the internet- that resonated me… to better understand life and things *that keeps me sane for an hour:

I think that’s what I find most strange about this world-

nobody ever says how they feel.

They hurt, but they don’t cry out.

They’re happy, but they don’t dance or jump around.

 And they’re angry but they hardly ever scream.

Because they feel ashamed.

Nothing’s worse than that.

So we all walk around with our heads looking down and never look up

to see how beautiful the sky is.

~ Uptown Girls

Everybody hurts, everybody bleeds.

Everyone laughs and smiles and loves.

And that’s all that it is.

There is no meaning of life, it’s nothing that can be defined.

It’s a matter of writing your own definition.

Today isn’t about missing yesterday or dreaming about tomorrow. It’s  about living in the moment, enjoying the minutes. It’s about spending  time with those who make you laugh. The ones that cause you to laugh  to hard and smile to wide. 

Don’t worry about what others think. All  that matters is today and this moment right now, right here. Enhance  
this moment and let it sink in, for it will never exsist again. And  now it’s gone, it’s over with, just like that.

Life will pass you by  in a heartbeat and so will the people around you, so hold on.

Hold  onto those precious souls who treat you like you deserve to be treated  and let go of those who don’t.

Don’t dwell on the past, for it will  never return.

Miss those who have passed to a much better world than  that of here on earth. Those who have gone to heaven and danced with angels.

Miss them but don’t forget them. Don’t forget them for they  are not gone, not gone forever. Their spirit dances around you and  brings hope and strength to the moments of weakness;

Moments in which  you do miss the yesterdays but dread the tomorrows. Because along with  the tomorrows comes a day further from their exsistence on earth. So  what is today? It’s it. It’s everything.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON *at least - i like to think things that way.

Sometimes when you’re young, you think nothing can hurt you. It’s like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you & you have big plans. Big plans. To find your perfect match. The one that completes you.

But as you get older, you realize it’s not always that easy. It’s not until the end of your life that you realize how the plans you made were simply plans.

At the end, when you’re looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe that you’re leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered.

Time. Time changes everything.

That’s what people say, it’s not true.

Doing things changes things.

Not doing things leave things exactly as they were. ~ House

Impatience makes one lose sight of his surroundings and invites failure.

Three passions, simple but overwhelming,

have governed my life: the longing for love,

the search for knowledge,

and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

~Bertrand Russell, Autobiography, 1967

I don’t ordinarily do regrets.

 Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
- Bob Marley

Shit doesn’t happen - life happens. Things go wrong, people change,

& sometimes it feels like you can’t go on.

But, in the end, you have to stop blaming everyone else

& put it on yourself to be happy,

because it’s your life & you have to make it through the hard times to get stronger.

I love Google, it’s the brain I never had

Once upon a time I wanted to know what love was. Love is there when you want it to be, you just have to see that it’s wrapped in beauty & hidden away between the seconds of your life. If you don’t stop for a minute, you might miss it.

No matter how many times i get hurt because of you, i won’t leave you. because 
even if i have a hundred reasons to leave you, i’ll look for that one reason to 
fight for you.

 Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing. It still doesn’t mean anything. What you feel only matters to you. It’s what you do to the people you say you love, that’s what matters. It’s the only thing that counts.
- The Last Kiss

the things you do… the things you did… for affection. HAH!

we trace the sun across the sky
and we laugh till we cry
always so hard to say goodbye..

and we all sit round here in our home town
it’s so good like this, these are times we’ll miss
the memories, i hope will never fade
glowing embers fly across the sky

At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world.

Some are running scared.

Some are coming home.

Some tell lies to make it through the day.

Others are just now facing the truth.

Some are evil men, at war with good.

And some are good, struggling with evil.

Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls.

And sometimes — all you need is one.

 Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1911

THE BEST THING ABOUT MEMORIES IS THAT YOU CAN CREATE THEM

i like running around taking pictures. people would brand me as the ‘crazy-bitch-who-takes-pictures’.  but i dont kerr…

 Did you ever notice that there is always that particular line in that certain song that always stands out in a certain way and reminds you of that one person you can’t forget?

You know what music is?
God’s little reminder that there’s something else
besides us in this universe; harmonic connection
between all living beings, everywhere, even the stars.
- August Rush

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”
    -Dr Seuss

Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live.

There’s no fear when you’re having fun.

You may be the only one who understands YOU. Don’t make it a deal. You MAY be wrong.

Carry laughter with you wherever you go.

You know what? Tragedies happen. What are
you going to do? Give up? Quit? No, I realize
now that when your heart breaks you got to fight like
hell to make sure you’re still alive. Cause you are
and that pain you feel, it’s life. The confusion and
fear, that’s there to remind you that somewhere
out there is something better, and that
something is worth fighting for.

If I could go back I’m my life, I wouldn’t change anything. Why?

Because I wouldn’t be as strong as I am today.

 There comes a point when you have got to stop relying on other people to make you feel okay. You’ve got to stop saying, “I need you.” You’ve got to stop feeling like you can’t live without someone, because guess what? You can. There is no one in this world that knows how to pick you up better then yourself. Sometimes there won’t be someone who can fix you when you’re breaking. Sometimes you’re just alone, and you know what? That’s good. Because if you don’t know how to fix yourself when you’re broken, you won’t get anywhere. It’ll seem like the worst thing in the world at first, but I promise you if you don’t run to anybody, if you just give yourself a chance, you’d be surprised what you can accomplish. 

Depression is like a heavy dark rain cloud that follows you no matter where you go.

Sometimes you just let it… cause you may love the feeling.but what the hell girl?!

who loves to sulk all the time? its tiring!

There is always gonna be that one person, the one who fucked you up, the one who RUINED your life, the one you swore you would never forgive. That person, who becomes not even a person at some point, but becomes this overwhelming being, this sense of loss that you carry with you. They are not worth it. Seriously, stop crying right now. Maybe you cannot see it right now, maybe all the other stuff that gets tossed in the pile of human relationships make it very hard to see, but people who treat you badly, are bad.

The Great Depression

I would say that we are on the age of The Great Depression: with all the infinite

lists of things that we NEEDED and WANTED to have, or wanted to experience

(thanks to shoptv and the rich neighbors) we got frustrated,

depressed, and insecure -day-by-day… just dreaming about- such and such… and just to realize–

nah-ah! its not gonna happen.

*with fist in the air: HOW UNFAIRR!

I say this is the real Age of Depression. With new things invented

everyday, You can just imagine how depressed you beocme

things you miss on the list of your wants and needs…

the neighbors upgraded their tv to LED flat screens.

everybodys travelling somwhere.

or she always have the right dress. damn!

it feels like youre fading on the face of this earth. 

For all you people out there who think no one cares, someone does. For all you people out there who think you aren’t beautiful, you are, believe me.

For all you people out there who cry yourself to sleep, get up outta bed & do something that makes you happy; no one deserves to go to sleep upset.

For all you people out there who harm yourself in any way, someone would be devastated if they knew you did; no one deserves to hurt inside and out, no matter what.

For all you people out there who starve and purge, you don’t need to live up to anyone else’s expectations of perfect; you’re beautiful and amazing the way you are.

For all you people out there who are judged and bullied, don’t listen to what others say; they don’t know your story, and odds are, they’re looking for a pathetic way to feel better about themselves.

For all you people out there drink or do drugs, I know times are hard and it’s an easy escape, but you don’t know how much your actions affect other people until it’s too late.

For all you people out there who have had broken hearts, that one person may not love you, but there are others who would risk everything for you, you just have to find them.

For all of you out there who have been abused either emotionally or physically, don’t blame yourself for any of it, it’s not your fault; some people are just bad human beings who can’t get their life together and take their pain out on you.

For all you people out there who daydream about taking off and leaving everything, do whatever makes you happy; life’s too short to waste it unhappy.

For all you people out there who want to skip school or work, there’s someone who would go absolutely insane without you there.

For all you people who want to kill yourself, don’t; you could miss out on an amazing life later on, death is not the answer.

For all you people out there who don’t have real smiles or real friends or a real family, you’re strong, you’re beautiful, and you WILL survive because I know you can make it through this; don’t ever let life get you down.

For all you people facing any kind of struggle, you’re not alone in this battle; don’t ever forget that. Don’t ever forget that someone does care about you. Don’t ever let life’s hard times and uncertainties get you down. And for all you people out there reading this and thinking how true it is but thinking how it doesn’t apply to you and that you don’t deserve happiness, you do. You’re worth way more than you think, and honestly, you are beautiful. Every single one of you out there is one of a kind and irreplaceable.

just don’t give up, okay ? because someone out there feels the same exact way you do right now. because this is life. and it’s not supposed to be easy, or perfect. because even if it was, we’d all still have something to complain about. so just hang in there. whatever’s going wrong, will eventually go right. whether it’s friends, family, or boys. nothing will ever be damaged forever. like they say. in the end you’re happy. and if you’re not happy…well then it’s not the end now is it ?

OCD guy

Just today I was able to observe a person with OCD at work…

I was about to finish eating my lunch, at some-restaurant that serves Maranao delicacies in Baclaran, when I got distracted by the waitress who keeps on looking at my side.

She was actually waiting for my reaction over a customer who keeps on arranging the plates, things on his table, like his glass, the pitcher, and his utensils. He was perspiring… well, who wouldn’t– perspire– with all the dancing around?

And I thought with a brow raised, is he joking around? Is he doing this for attention. I don’t think so… still waiting for him to stop or at least catch his eyes asking for recognition of what he’s doing- to no avail.

I gave my husband a nudge and pout my lips towards the guy, and my husband said that he noticed it earlier. Realizing taht I must be really busy with my spicy-hot curry beef- that I did not notice him dancing around his table.

He was normal in size, normal looking. He even got a muscle. Well you can just imagine his day will be… can’t control himself and be still.

  People are ROFL over the guy, but one brow raised again… so happy to see the guy so miserable, that he got a glitch on his system. I observed him again, and he moves with his trunk this time, drank the water again, rolls the glass, from his arm, pours the water again, and then the pitcher. wow. almost like a dance. he was really into it. not noticing people staring at him. or even me that looks at him intergalactically stupid, like waiting for him to stop.

I think I AM going insane!

I almost forgot what it feels like to have experience such an unusual state in my mind again after 15 years, i think. I would always say that we can control our minds, and that we are limitless, and that we are beyond what we think we are. I think that it is still- what Happen to me yesterday was just a glitch on my system.

When I was younger, I have this episodes flashing in my mind. They diagnose it as a macropsia/micropsia. That I go big then sooo small. I thought it was normal before, like  having nightmares, the only problem is, it happens when you’re awake. I know what my body is doing, I even remember that i was sitting on a high chair made of rattan, or going downstairs, or watching my nanny scrubbing the floors. but my mind- is like playing a movie, and i was there watching… I can even feel what it wants me to see. It was pulling me bigger so fast and my senses got heightened too. like drops of rain that I never heard the first time, now its like a thud on every drop. Then I got so small, or was it everything got so big, that i can pass freely into my ear-pierced holes. so weird. 

 Just yesterday when I went to take a shower after  reading a book in bed for hours… It hit me again. I know how to control it- usually i just immersed my face into the pillow, or in that moment a towel, then it was gone. sitting in the bathroom stool, staring the walls,  I let it play. It was kinda insane cause It may become permanent, but since I was kinda  missng it. i let it play in my mind so i can describe it better later. no fear this time. I am ready. 

it was like i  was in a different dimension, an extreme dimension. Barely seeing the walls now, I was walking on the fluffy towel like a desert-wide then just space. Then another pull on my body that make me soo big- and the towel now size of the drop… to just float, on my fingers. 

League Of Legends

 Manny and I went to this LOL clash of the titans tourney, which I thought the mineski’s won… when i googled- it was the Pacific Gaming Team took the Championship trophy. It was kinda disappointing. I was hoping that they won cause with the jacket and everything… anyway-

We took pictures at their Photobooth with  Ayumi Kassinique as Katarina, the sinister blade. I haven’t played her but definitely a champion worth buying for. I’ll just scan it the pic later.

Ocean Park Adventure

It has been 3 years begging manny to buy me passes to the Manile Ocean Park. He did not care a bit of how i feel or my need to see those animals in live, not on cable, pictures or on my plate. though he very well knows that I am so dying to see the fishes swimming.

He always have the reasons to extend the date further, the latest one, was that he wants us to wait for DSLR to really enjoy it.

 I just got lucky that the boss from where i work bought some tickets online for the team using his credit card, i got two, and i just bought it for 500p. it should be around 400 each i think, but since it was an online promo. i was estatic.

before we went to Manila Ocean Park we ate our lunch in ZAMNAM restaurant in malate manila. they serve mainly tausog delicacies -  Satti. but since I was hungry, I decided to eat chicken curry and some tausog desserts. I missed tausog delicacies - especially pastir and pianggang.

after pigging out we went to Robinson’s manila, just a couple of blocks away from where we eat. We roam around the mall, and thought of it like a city within the mall, on this particular mall however - it has many cultures. i can see different colours here, i even recognize where theyre from with their accents.

 they dont have this back home. We dont have enormous mall, that we can forget that this is just a mall not a city. We dont have options. and we rarely see different races here. So I was absorbing every little detail from then on like a sponge. realizing that this wont happen for a long– long… while.

then when we finished painitng the mall red - we rode a jeepney to roxas boulevard, and from there - we walked on foot, passing luneta park then the grandstand… feet already aching but i was so excited. i didnt care…

when we finally reached the place, i was  wide eyed and hopeful that this would be a great experience. I have been reading national geographics all my life, watching discovery channel too.. When I was younger, I can name animals more than my friends, and they got weird on me, as i got weird of them too. what? you dont know what sloth is? or whats the different between a beaver and a squirrel? a duck and a swan? c’mon! i was a geek, true…   still  is.

   

  

      

The Great Race in the Animal Kingdom

The Humans claim to lead on the Race to the TOP in the Animal Kingdom.

There are no animals that are superior to man. Some would even say that we, humans, should not be compared to an animal (I like to watch BEAST VS MANs show). Good thing i am not one of those anthropocentric slash egoistic people- who thinks  that we ARE the center of the universe, and that we ARE the only ones who got a pass from the balance of universe.

I am a believer of God and His power that is why I would like the idea that we are made special. We are made special- but still a part of the universe who respected the living and the non-living, who respects the yin yang and His words. We are even made special than the angels!

Even if it’s not the truth,- I know that IT IS though- it’s a wonderful feeling of being a part of his creation that HE dearly loves.

The viruses, however, say otherwise.

The only problem on their part is that their being an animal- is still not clear, and the debate of IT being an organism, even, still  goes on today! LOL

 
I say it’s the cockroach.

Well the race is still on.  And if the atomic bomb will be the finish line- definitely- the cockroaches win.

  ~ tu-tah!

My favorite MOVIE QUOTES!

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
~ Taken

Jean Valjean my brother you no longer belong to evil. With this silver, I have bought your soul. I’ve ransomed you from fear and hatred, and now I give you back to God.
~ Les Misérables

If you ever loved me, don’t rob me of my hate. It’s all I have.
~ The Count of Monte Cristo

 Destiny is something we’ve invented because we can’t stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental.
~ Sleepless in Seattle

 After all… I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
~ Notting Hill

 I can’t fight it anymore. I ran away from you once. I can’t do it again. Oh, I don’t know what’s right any longer. You have to think for both of us. For all of us.
~ Casablanca

 My Mama always said, ‘Life was like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get.
~ Forrest Gump

 We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
~ Dead Poet’s Society

I told you. I wake up every day, right here, right in Punxsutawney, and it’s always February 2nd, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
~ Groundhog Day

 The odd thing about this form of communication is that you’re more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings.
~ You’ve Got Mail

 The Emperor has been a prisoner in his own palace since the day that he was crowned, and has remained a prisoner since he abdicated. But now he’s growing up, he may wonder why he’s the only person in China who may not walk out of his own front door. I think the Emperor is the loneliest boy on Earth.
~ The Last Emperor

 ”You see, it’s curious. Ted did figure it out, time travel. And when we get back we all get back, we’re all going to tell everyone. How it’s possible, how it’s done, what the dangers are. But then why 50 years in the future when the spacecraft reaches a black hole does does the computer call it an unknown entry event? Why don’t they know? If they don’t knowm, it means we never told anyone. And if we never told anyone, it means we never made it back. Hence, we die down here.”
~ Sphere

 
Wrong answer fuck bag. This is the very moment of your reckoning. In the next 30 seconds you’re gonna open 1 of 2 doors. The first door will forever traumatize your own flesh and blood.
~ The Butterfly Effect

Well, Clarice… Have the lambs stopped screaming?
~ The Silence Of The Lambs

Could he daily feel a stab of hunger for her and find nourishment in the very sight of her? I think so. But would she see through the bars of his plight and ache for him?
~ Hannibal

 To me, you are a slug in the sun. You are privy to a great becoming but you recognize nothing. You are an ant in the afterbirth. Before me you rightly tremble. But you owe me more than fear. YOU OWE ME AWE.
~ Red Dragon

What is left in you to love?
~ Hannibal Rising

What if someone you never met, someone you never saw, someone you never knew was the only someone for you?
~ Sleepless in Seattle

Within no time, Jean-Baptiste Grenouille had disappeared from the face of the earth. When they had finished, they felt a virginal glow of happiness. For the first time in their lives, they believed they had done something purely out of love.
~ Perfume: The Story of a Murderer

Everyone has an Angel. A Guardian who watches over us. We can’t know what form they’ll take One day, Old man, Next day, Little girl. But don’t let appearances fool you, They can be as fierce as any dragon. Yet they’re not here to fight our battles. But to whisper from our hearts. Reminding that it’s us. Its everyone of us who holds power over the world we create.
~ Sucker Punch

Give me a minute, I am good. I got an hour, I am great. You give me 6 months, I am unbeatable
~ A-Team

 Every man dies but not every man really lives.
~ Braveheart

One of the fews. I’ll just update this post as soon as I can remember the rest.

IDOL: for the very first time Robin Padilla in the flesh

Wish I had known about Robin Padilla’s movie tour here in SM Bacoor dated yesterday sooner. I would have blissfully gone earlier to to be in those lucky- front row seats… It just so happens that Manny asked me for a date that afternoon, to have our meryenda there at the mall and refresh our minds after too much watching DEXTER, the psycho killer series. Taking advantage of the cool centralized air-conditioning that the SM malls usually offer, although it was not THAT hot yesterday.

Thinking about the food I ordered- I got hungry! mmmm Jollibee TUNA pie is to die for. 

I was not really in the mood to stroll the mall floors, especially during weekends— i  like people and crowd- it just so happens, again, that I am tired and would looove to take some sleep. But I went with him anyway- I have turned him down a lot of times and I felt that I don’t respect his need to be out with me.

I am not like Manny, and its funny cause he feels he wants to vomit and feels that he can’t breathe when he is in a crowd for too long… AND he doesnt want people stepping his circle, he was like a territorial-kinda-guy. pfff! i know right?!

  I got soo tired waiting outside the pen for Robin, Mariel, Queenie to come - got elbowed by so many people - with Manny around and his temper- I still got the good spot for the longest time, atleast.

I am always intrigued by this guy. He’s so polite, gentleman, and … romantic. No doubt he’s loved by many.

With Mariel and her daughter queenie there- it was a such a treat! Unfortunately,  it was one hour before the concert started, the seats were already filled with crowds and  I DON’T have my camera with me!

I always bring my camera with me. I feel naked without it. On our way to the Mall- I asked Manny if he brought it with him— thinking of going back since it was just a couple of blocks from home— But I just say just leave it. Damn! I should/t have! People back home would be jealous if I have a picture of him. I need to watch my event updates more often :p

No Place Like Manila

We are summoned again by my husband’s family back to Cotabato City. To be together again as a family in times like this. Which provoked by the unfortunate events that goes around the news : in the Middle East and Asia, that looks like the beginning of the Apocalypse song that the Mayan’s sang *brrrr.

I don’t want to be a rude-selfish-bitch (like the one that i know) and just ignore his grandfather’s wish to be with them. I have plans and almost everything already setup for our future on our own. But somehow I understand their request, although I hate it, but I get it. To be back in the province from almost a year in the city is like going to prison for me. SHIT!

I’m gonna miss:

My work

My workmates/friends

Out of Town Trips

 
(more…)

Today: should be a holiday

Happy Valentine’s everyone! This is usually the day when mann would go out and surprise me with gifts… but yesterday… he got me an early valentine treats. it was spontaneous.. sooo unlike him. I am just so happy he’d go change for me.

for 7 years of marriage… why wouldnt he, you asked? but knowing manny, it needs a lot of horsepower to break his mold.

I have been single for a lot of years before we got married. I really dont even like going with my girlfriends… they have their own thing… I was like– different, the freak. it was kinna depressing when you are alone… People will find me weird, watching movies by myself, dining out for one, watching the sunset alone… this is what they called- masturdating.. self dating. ahahaha (just learned the word recently).  It was not because im ugly or dull. probably, Im not comfortable with HAVING and MAINTAINING a relationship. got a lot of relationship for just a couple of days long… Cause they got too demanding, and ’sticky’… and afraid my parents would find out. 

I am so lucky to have manny… He’s, what you say, a good companion that can last throughout a lifetime and beyond. He talks nonsense but i love it. he wanted to go where i dont wanna to go, but still i enjoy every moment with him. I am so lucky to have him…

Oh NO! drama llama in the midst!

oh crap! I got a severe- almost debilitating crush over someone who will probably never have any sort of romantic feelings towards me. oh well. oh crap. *pining

I am so married, ferchrissake, and i got a crush with this turd.

 
Speaking of, I’ve tried sooo hard not-staring at him when I am on avail. Its so sweet not to miss every little thing that he does– and I would like to think that he’s staring on me back! i know man! this is stupidity.

Somebodys throwing stones at me. OUCH!

It started when I admired him professionaly, his wits, his smiling face, his energy… and whatevers… I was drawn to him for every word that we exchanged together, it excites me and my fondness in him grew stronger. Somehow, out of nowhere, his defenses were up, not smiling, not talking…  it seems to have gone nowhere… Thank God, hes apathetic and bipolar, iv gone— cold turkey on this guy. I was about to get intoxicated by my fondness for him.

It was kinna sad cause he’s the reason why I am O.K. to wake up for work… everyday- of the week. I even won best agent in attendance because of him. lol. No… actually its the attendance bonus. anyway- you got my point, right?  I dont think he knows that I have something for him. I dont think that he have a clue, even.  HAHAHA.

i think…

 Anyway, I’ve been PMSing since Monday - kinda blows me away from a position where Ive tried so hard to be on. And felt crying over to a friend- i… somehow- lost.

So now, I’ve been wandering aimlessly around the house or lying in sofa/bed for the past few days, and you know what? I’ve had a lot of time to read. And I mean a LOT. I’ve seriously started and finished a book for 3 hours, YEAH. ah-ha. BUT YEAH I just need to get to the next book of Catherine Banner’s series. All of the other novel I read was just fcuking waste of time– too much violence and sex.

I dont wanna say I hate my new workplace. I dont wanna complain. My super-ego is saying that I shouldnt cmplain… my ID, however, is screaming inside my head saying- WHATTAFUCK! I hate the heavy-traffic going home! Which means - *drumroll - I have to find another J-O-B, if ever I have the chance. que sera, sera.

As of now I’m listening to Katy Perry’s- I’m still Breathing, which I’m horribly addicted to, and pretty much just listen to on repeat all day long forever and always. No seriously it’s THAT GOOD.

I’m Still Breathing

I really should be in bed now, Im signing out, and what the hell, I guess I’ll head there now. =)

One Fine Day: A start of my new, healthier life…

I just cant ignore it anymore. My pants are getting tighter… shirts getting ripped off one by one… and it’s hard to don/doff clothes lately, some of my clothes got victimize by that traumatic incident. Its hard for me to find pants, shorts, skirts and dresses that fits these days. Unlike before, I can just shop clothes without trying them on in the shop’s fitting room.. It can be~ awfully tiresome!

When I was younger, I am slim as a pole. I can practically eat anything. And got used of being admired at. Now? ugh!

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My recent escapade

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Are you HAPPY yet?

with my job? I think so. I would like to say that it is so… I don’t like to give myself a chance to feel dissatisfied and bored with my life. i am avoiding finding myself pointing a gun to my head in the near future.

I am happy, that’s ALL that matters. I can be an ambitious bitch, that i know, facing the mirror, and say- I can be anyone whoever that I wanted to be. I know its possible. But I also know its infinitely tiring.

For me, these past few months were intense. I was supposed to work abroad, but due to some unfortunate events — I finally gave up. What makes me stay is that I- realized it is totally useless to proceed anyway. I hope I am still right.

I started looking for jobs, locally, while I am still pending with another job from abroad that time. I got hired easily, that my mom would just say, that I am so lucky to have had find a job so fast…

It was one of those rough times in your life that you dont want to remember cause you dont want to believe that it happened.. but I would say, that- it was fun experience with my husband– for being independent, and knowing whats our worth. there was this time, taht we would stare at each other - then laugh on whats money left on our hands.

Money really makes the world go round. It would be a great feeling, if you thought that its not, but it is. Family can go wrong with this or without.  Friends can be enemies, vice versa. You know how it goes. It goes round and round.

 Anyway, i am getting nowhere with this. Am I happy yet? I am. Can I be happier? Of course!

By the way— I am happy Dex, my bro, and his wife, pyn gave birth to a healthy baby girl! CONGRATULATIONS! that’s happiness…

too much television shows… and pet society

I love watching movies and television shows- especially those with lots of chemistry of revenge, hate and love. I mean… WHO DOESNT? it is amazing that most movies that I watched this past few years are improving… I guess writers, producers, or whoever is reviewing their history.

I am currently wasting my “rest time” in playing Pet Society,  at least an hour in a day. I don’t want to miss any of those daily prizes and bonuses. I was kinda allowing myself to be addicted to this game…. even manny is reminding me my pet time. It was my kind of release, i was frustrated in having a baby and a house. How pitiful… you’ll say. I dont care.

here are some of my rooms and pictures from my Pet Society:

The Japanese Garden room

Please click MORE for more…

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Rice Cooker Cooking :)

I know its kinda silly to cook food other than rice in a ricecooker. lol. Weve just arrived from Manila couple of months ago and were not sure to live here permanently– so we’re not ready to buy gasulette yet. We bought the rice cooker for only P499.00 ($11.00) in SM Bacoor.