some shitty poetry uv mine

May 30, 2010

 

RED UMBRELLA

underneath my red umbrella
the world of you and I exist
your smile, my sun.
your voice, my air.
your silence, my water.

It rained hearts that day.
flooded my sad soul
drowning me with
happiness
and excitement
even with that simmering heat,
that you resented so much,
I rejoiced.
and how the umbrella’s no aid,
you said,
i just replied you with a smile
cause you know it cant be avoided
it was high noon,
in the middle of the summer.

finding myself laughing
of my silliness over you,
as I float
walking side by side with you,
on that long dreadful sidewalk
that looks like short road
made of puffy clouds,
and those tall buildings 
that look like willow trees.

awkwardly, consciously.
I was trying to make it straight
and as normal as I could
with the busy traffic of the metro
haven’t you noticed?
underneath my red umbrella
you and I exist.

QUEEN OF PAIN

 Pain drums my heart now…
Sending echoes of screams

and ripples-  of darkness to my soul
Like a distant song that comes to me in my dreams— or

by that very beat and rhythm of the voodoo drums

played by the dark kings of the fire

Summoning Pain to me…

The Queen of Pain crazily dance around my head

in my chest…
in my heart.
- dancing around  the bonfire of my hate and disgust.

 
Throbbing so quickly now

I am defenseless.

Surrendering to the overwhelming pain
from the taste of the poison that I have created. 

It doesn’t make sense anymore throwing punches to the air
Nothing… wasting… dying…

I am shaking now- lifelessly on the ground

I am trembling now- crying helplessly

I am screaming now- silently… waiting.

The Queen of Pain deceives me again.

lulled me to sleep.

 

…

 

DREAMING MERMAN

Walking on a winding trail to nowhere

Sun shining, blinded by its rays

I sighed

My hand shading my eyes

as I looked further…

I released another sigh

 

Then a beautiful voice reached my ears,

His song reached my heart.

 

I stopped… Wondering… Looking…

Following the rhythm that dances in the wind

Seducingly… drawing me- to him

 

A merman, half man, half fish

Facing the ocean, singing, with his eyes closed

 

Felt his kindness in his song

Tears glistened on the side of his face,

Crying?

 

Felt his sadness in his voice

I cried…

 

Tried to reached out to comfort

But… he’s gone

 

Gone into the depths of the sea.

His world.

 

 

———————–

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Imaginary Love

 

 

 My heart is breaking every time

  I see you frown
But still, I am here…
Loving the sadness that you’ve created.
I am here who expects nothing 
but the smile on your face to appear.

This is my beautiful secret…

When you smile
You tease my heart
I’ll just try to contain the excitement
Every time that you do.
I will risk it all to stay here…
staring

I am here, waiting for that beautiful secret

When I look into your dreamy eyes,
I feel that I am floating in a dark space
Taking pleasure on your imaginary love
Hugging me with your imaginary arms 
In my daydream world 
You’re holding me to keep my head from spinning
Feeling your body against mine
You made me calm.
You don’t know this
But I am owning my beautiful secret 

Come love…
I’ll take you far away from here
from this place called reality.
I want to love you fearlessly
Where you would smile for me
Where you would sing for me.

Come sate me…
let’s escape to the dimension that I will create
to a temporary dimension 
Where you love me endlessly
Where you would say my name lovingly

Can you feel that I am losing it, love?
Can’t help it…
I just let it flow into my veins.
The toxic of betrayal and lust
I love how it felt
throbbing under my skin. 
crawling painfully into my life
Filling me up

I am dying here. 
Barely breathing.
Waiting for my beautiful secret to show again
My lifeline, My drugI’ll risk it all to stay high.It will all get better in time
But somehow I feel your unreal
And just disappear like the morning

Eyes open now
Mind still wanders
Can’t help it… I am here
Enthralled by the very vibration that still lingers 
And you are there
Unaware of what magic you’ve created for me

Feeling alone now
holding my beautiful secret as long as I could
I am just here… Holding it against my chest
And your there
Unaware of the secret I have from you
Till we meet again
No matter how long it takes
I will be here in the dark
Waiting.

 

 

 

 —————

 

Night Swim Love

On a night like this

I can fall in love

Sitting on the tan-colored beach

in blissful daze

Moon eerily lit the clouds,

creating the ghostly  landscape

and for the waves to show their glittery jewels

luring me in…

 

the cold sea-breeze

nudging my soul to fly

and the sound of the waves

seducing me

slipping into the dark water

maybe i am hypnotized

I didnt remember taking my clothes off

dipping slowly

wanting to feel its milky,

magical sensation again

I am inlove

and it loves me back

overwhelmed by its mystical power

im now getting insane

lost into it’s deep… Im happy

moving down and touching its murky floor

losing my breath

staring at the glittery moon from the deep

i am inlove again

Am I mad?

letting the current pushed me into its depth

feeling the strangeness of it all

the mystery of the unknown darkness

In one gliding motion-

i am swimming into its vastness

into its depth

into its soul

i am happy

I turned and swam upwards

to stay alive

screaming ecstasy and feeling so love

…feeling so alive