unrequited?

 “Memories are not recycled like atoms and particles in quantum physics; they can be lost forever…” Marry The Night, Lady Gaga

I would like to excuse my married ass and write this shit, cause I need to— I have to. this is to remind me that I have been loved for so very long,  faithfully by another man that i didnt have a clue of… a love story that happened to me and I might not remember this in the future… so here goes…

 The story started when we were in high-school… a couple of months before our graduation, to be exact… t we became a couple. he was  a very nice man- tall, fair-skinned, neat, very nice hands, nice set of teeth, big mouth with red lips, has this nicest smile on him that I really loved, long-limbed kinda guy.. practically way out of my league. but I don’tknow what gotten into him, that - he likes me. 

 so anyway. we gave each other a gift. One day, he asked me where I lived. I was not sure why he asked, telling directions to our house is a pain in the ass, but he appeared on the our door step anyway. Mom was the one who answered the door. since I AM NOT IN THE HOUSE THAT TIME!!!! dhang! he just gave my mom the gift and went off. How surprise I was when i received it… I was even surprise how he was able to find our house! ahaha. It was a tudong. It smelled so nice, I cried. so I went to town to buy him a gift back. I was thinking a polo shirt. since I am conscious on what to give him and he might not use it, i finally decided to give him the hankies. just to be safe.

Noone knew about our relationship, since, my friend adores him so much. and that I was supposed to bridge her to him. hahah. Oh it was awful, since she has boyfriends anyway… so I gave up being a good friend.   lol.. dont judge me.

This relationship we had, what i thought, was shortlived. 

not until last week, he added me on FB. and he messaged me.

told me he was so happy he’s crying, that he finally found me on FB. and I asked who he was cause he’s not using his name, and his timeline doesnt show anything about him or of a person, just a collections of Islam quotes, youtube videos about Islam and pictures about Islam.. All about Islam… this guy is really nice! i know! I even had a wrong guessed as of who he was, but … he said its me! and I thought he died, excuse me. so i was just laughing the whole time chatting with him. I was so happy too.

I, actually, miss him. he showed me his current pic, still looks the same. lean and neat. lol

This guy is crazy, he confessed to me, things that I can never even imagine that a person could do to me. he said was the craziest, what I noticed first is that- his FB has been created and was active for a very long time = means that what he said about not owning another FB is true. It doesnt say anything about a person, he said, its just about spreading Islam and what he like he’ll post it on his FB. I personally agree to this cause I know he is that kind of person that keeps it to himself. shy and reserve when other people is around.  I know right?! he’s so sweet. but what’s crazier was the thing he said that time while we were chatting, was that he’s still SINGLE. SINgle?! what the hell! he blames me for not waiting, and then put a LOL at the end of it.. to make it more confusing.

and that he went back to our house to say goodbye to me before going abroad for his new work but i wasnt thereanymore, he said he went there around 7 years ago… BUTi got married 8 years ago! little too late? yeah for a year! ahahah. he didnt know, he didnt ask, he didnt proceed to our house and knock– cause he got intimidated maybe, cause he saw my father first came out from the house. of course, i mean, who doesnt get intimidate by my father, he is large and he got this infamous antagonistic moustache on his face.. hahah. who wouldnt? poor him. shyed away by my father’s bad-ass appearance. he said, he cried on the airplane, wishing that he was able to see me before he left the coutry.. so how long is my hair now?! youre stepping on it now.

this is so sad.. i know.. and there is a moral of this story. and that is communication baby!

and the conlcusion? he helped me opened my eyes. he taught me things that i already knew, things that i dont want to hear, every answers and his questions hit me hard. He is so kind, and very patient with me and very wise to go around with our chat. I guess he somehow knew what I needed to hear and he gave it to me in a very unoffensive way. I guess you will never understand this part of my story, but what he basically, did was giving me a piece of jannah. of God’s wisdom. its not only by his words but by what he does in his life and the way he sees things. I am so blessed that God gave him to me. I wish I can affect people like the way that he did to me.  everything happens for a reason. he always, always … remind me of how beautiful and pure Islam is and how beautiful it is. I am so grateful that God, do really take time for me, and gave me chances,,, time and time again. He gave me a friend like him. that motivates me and inspired me to be a better person. God never fails me. God is great!